Holding Hands with God and My Son
Sometimes motherhood looks like this: me sitting on the floor of my son’s room, by his crib, holding his hand during nap time because he is sick with a head cold while I try to get some work done with the other hand.
This was a picture I took earlier this week and sent to my husband when he asked how nap time was going. Sure, my to-do list was overflowing as usual, but my sweet boy needed me more.
While we sleep trained our son at 14 months (let’s all remember this is a judgment-free zone-- you do you) since our little love is nearing his second birthday (eek!) he has started to have some sleep regression both at naptime and bedtime. Coupled with the fact that he has been fighting a very nasty cold, his sleep has been subpar.
We did not get one of those babies that sleeps more when they are sick. Nope, instead we got the baby that is very upset at being sick and wants to make sure we are all aware that he is sick, tired and unhappy. Sickness and sleeplessness all rolled up together makes for one cranky little boy.
At that moment when I was sitting hunched over next to the crib mentally lamenting the fact that I had so much work to do and how can I get it all done using only one hand, I was failing to realize the bigger and more important picture.
Because also in that moment when I was sitting next to the crib trying to work, was my little love who just needed his mamma. My sweet boy could only sleep if I held his hand. Even slowly moving my hand just one moment to the keyboard would wake him instantly and he would begin crying “da mamma.”
“Whenever a child, or a baby holds our hand or our finger, we get the highest of joys, like it is one of the most delightful feelings in the world. Imagine what God feels when we hold His hand. Imagine His joy." ~Unknown
I saw that quote on Instagram later that day and realized just how powerful it is to be a parent. I was also so glad that I was able to be with my love when he needed me most.
Being a mother isn't always what I'd imagine it would be, but it is always exactly what I need to be.
There will be a day when I will look back at that moment of me sitting on the ground near my son and I will wish it back. I will wish back the times when my sweet love needed his mamma. I will look fondly back on these memories that we have created. And for the rest of my life, I will remember to thank God for holding my hand when I need it most.
Praise God, our little love is feeling much better now and after a reboot of our sleep training, he is back to sleeping both for his naps and at night. I will now just get my hand-holding in while he is awake and happy.
As always, thank you for reading. God bless you and may the Blessed Virgin Mary be with you always!
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