“Whatever God wants.” ~St. Gianna Beretta Molla I’ve been saying this quote a lot lately. I am officially in the ninth month of pregnancy with our sweet baby girl and for some reason I’ve been saying and thinking this quote a lot lately. Perhaps it’s my way of surrendering to the upcoming changes that our family will go through as we lovingly welcome our newest member. There is so much unexplainable joy and excitement about having another child, another miracle, another gift from God that we are somehow worthy of receiving. But there are also fears and trepidation that come along. Such as many other occurrences in life. Many mothers and fathers feel the same joys and fears as the family grows and another cherished member is added. Instead of succumbing to those fears, which I all too often do, I am instead acknowledging the fears, thanking myself for being aware of them and trusting God that, in the end. whatever He wants is what is best. The steadfast commitment to our Faith and to our family has gotten us through both. God is with us through both trial and triumph. While it is completely normal to feel fearful and anxious, reminding myself that “God has our back, and we, as a family, have each other’s backs,” keeps me at peace.
He has blessed my life beyond what I could have planned for myself. When in college, I planned that once I graduated, my goal would be to eventually move to and live in San Francisco as a newspaper reporter. God, marriage and children were the furthest things from my mind. If you would have told me then, that in present-time I would instead: come back home to Catholicism, live in my home state, be married, work from home, have two children (one of which on the way) and home-school; I would have laughed in your face. Now, I couldn't have imagined any other life than this. I have my dream come true. I realized this today as I looked out our window at our toddler and my husband playing in the snow. As I watched them play, I was preparing some meals for a “30 day meal stock up” for when baby girl arrives, praying the Rosary and listening to Benediction chant music. This dream realized is one I never knew I wanted to come true. Thank you God, for giving me this dream and knowing what was best for me all along.
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October 2020
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